I love you and miss you, which in no way dimishes how much I hate the person you turned out to be, but I still love and miss you.
I looked at my own cervix.
Pretending to care about her feelings is becoming a full time job
his fiance had made him a calendar of pictures of her. he asked if he should take it down and i said no. i wanted her to watch.
i will see naked twins by the end of the night. that's all i know
She was shaking her boobs and I was so high all I could think was "breast maracas"
She gave such good road head it was turned into side-of-the-road head for everyone's safety
It must have been an amazing night, I have "my pants are responsible people" written on my pants in permanent marker.
He said to use 30 racks as chairs and then drink til we fall thru the box
Yknow what, if there is a thug life for white bitches, I'm living it. I went out on a date, watched howls moving castle with my brother till he passed out, then went and got some a+ dick, and made it home in time to take my mom to work. Now its 7am, I'm in bed with some free tacos, and when I'm done eating I'm going to sleep. What a great night.
If I wear a tail on Halloween, how am I supposed to grind? Maybe I will just wear devil horns
the bartender knew what was up when i took a sip of my drink, gagged and asked her to water down my water
I started my period on international women's day. It's like the world is congratulating me and punishing me for being a woman at the same time
Welp just ran into my high school history teacher while buying a pregnancy test...there goes my veil of innocence in this town.
you're the only girl i know who can be too sick to walk to the kitchen and still have enough game to receive multiple orgasms
Randomize