It doesn't have to be a walk of shame...just pretend he took you to breakfast.
No one shows this much boob at breakfast
I got my nipple pierced! I love it so much!
Well, there goes breastfeeding.
I'm a fake celebrity on twitter. I need a life.
Beer is about to convince me to do something really stupid.
he puked in his toast at dennys. after snoopdogg high fived him. couldn't be prouder to be his bro in law.
Just took 4 secret shots in his bathroom to not remember him naked.
At least in the future when we're all real people we can laugh about the time we all had scabies together?
2048oz a keg...divide that by solo cup... comes out to 128 beers...simplifies into 5.3repeating cases...drinkable between two people
and u failed math?
tonight were gonna drink champagne and watch girls put themselves in awkward position
You told her that she shouldn't be allowed to wear clothes then when her roommate asked if you like her you said "no I just want to insert things into her"
I stand by it.
i rearranged my furniture so i could masturbate in the sun. how's that for spring cleaning?
you were angry and didn't have anything else to throw so you threw a breakfast burrito...?
Okay so it turns out that my bf keeps a log of every time I sleep-fart. It's dated back to 2013.
When I woke up I had 6 missed calls making sure I was ok and asking if I remember showing my tits to a picture of her baby.
So my ex just asked for my address to send me his wedding invitation... in Europe. Awesome.
That’s basically a green light to fuck his dad
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