OMg patrick swayze is the sexuest man he is killing me I'm gonna get dehydrated if I don't stop looking at him
just took a sink shower in Arbys bathroom
Then you got really excited when I upgraded you from puke bowl to puke bucket.
how can getting a pizza be this hard?
when you've been drinking 14 hours anythings impossible
We removed her tutu and her cape, so there's no risk of her strangling herself.
Im not gonna remember this tomorrow but the real money is in coke i wanna get a dark wood desk and cell coke then i can own taco bell and the xxl chalupa will be mine
i just remembered i chipped my tooth last night when i pulled up your pants zipper with my teeth
Absolutely. Last time I signed up for a softball league I had sex with my high school economics teacher.
I just brought the toaster out onto the porch to light a cigarette, don't talk to me about being desperate.
I have nothing to lose. And a bunch of dick to gain.
It's only slutty if you don't have his number. Unless there's a full moon. Then anything goes.
I just need to stop hanging out with girls who drink wine coolers.
Me and you. The most fucked up people on the planet drinking together. Hell yeah
You think your roommate is bad? The guy they paired me with is such a nerd, his very presence at a party blocks every cock in the room.
Standing naked in my kitchen making nachos. I love my youth.
Randomize
