we went to that german restaurant and drank out of the boots. Then I threw up into one
I just ran into the couch, vagina first.
I hope you got dinner out of it
Contrary to what I yelled at them last night, it turns out campus police CAN arrest people...
Let's have a moment of silence for the guinea pig that drunk chick threw out our window.
i just remembered i chipped my tooth last night when i pulled up your pants zipper with my teeth
he wrote me a grocery list while i was passed out. every other item was gin. it went on for 4 pages.
As hard as i've been partying lately their gonna have to revoke my organ donor status
The Vegas crew is in two groups, Team Vodka and Team Fireball. There is no winner in this.
Got a handy at the foam party. Took girl home. Banged her. Thanked her for foam handy. "what handy?"
I'm like 87% sure some random guy starting biting my ear after grinding me for like 30 seconds... I feel suprisingly unconcerned
I didn't know what happened last night until the bruises in the shape of hands showed up on my boobs. Then it all made sense.
Someone with the Instagram name "hymenbreaker" just liked a photo of me and my grandma. I feel ashamed.
wanna mail me your GoPro for St.Patties and I'll mail it back to you coverend in puke?
How do we have all these hot friends who we never do body shots off of
I can't even be mad at customs in houstons airport anymore for missing my flight and having to stay overnight. Within an hour of meeting we did it at her place. Her last word being "glad I could show you real southern hospitality". I'm definitely coming back here someday
Randomize
