So I've decided that when I turn 50 and have to have a colonoscopy I'm going to leave a surprise for the doctor to find.
so how do you plan on seducing my econ TA?
by telling him that he has a large supply and that i demand it...in my mouth. it shows him that i'm slutty and that i pay attention in econ
You were spooning my trash can and I had to crumble cookies on the floor by your face to get you to eat
It feels like im being cuddled by a thousand little smurf vaginas
You took my underwater blowjob virginity.
I'm going through a really dark time right now
I don't want to hear it man. I just jerked it to a pic of my ex wife in a bikini. Buck up
Got a minor my first day of college from the bike police. I'm gonna like it here
Last night you made me help you pick the raisins out of a kashi bar and acted like it was the most important thing to ever happen to you or our friendship
Gonna play a drinking game called drink til I feel my emotions. The things I do so I can be a therapist
I need a nap, Harry Potter movies, and dick in this exact order after work.
It tasted better than Jesus's hair.
He's just been a dick since he set his face on fire. I just wanted to eat a fucking hot dog.
You guys do the cocaine and I'll do the dishes.
We played wedding bingo. I made out with the maid of honor and fucked one of the bride’s sorority sisters. But I needed to get with the groom’s cousin, a mother-in-law to be, or the wedding planner to win and I came up short.
He licked me while I ate pretzels and chips. I was really living my best life.
Randomize
