I want to see a picture of the girl worth ruining our relationship for
Well you know what I always say about freshmen.... If you want it, and they've got it... get it.
dude. late night with jimmy fallon isnt even funny. the people in the audience there to see him dont even think hes funny.
kinda like you and your friends.
your brother just told me that Guinness is the first book of the Bible...
Do you think my bosses would frown upon Jameson with breakfast on this holiest of days?
Fuck now we have to have sex
What?
In a bet, need to win
We always say that. And then its 4am and someone is screaming at strippers.
I wish we could tell the moving van to wait at the strip club for a while.
What are the odds of finding the one hot Australian dude with erecile dysfunction?
Then you can skip the embarrassing can I date your ex since you're a lesbian now conversation
Stop thinking your God dude. You passed out. God doesn't pass out...
Long story short he broke into a preschool and threw all their cones into a tree.
with the possibility that i could very easily fall in love with him and i've actually talked to my HUSBAND about it
You don't know true terror until you get stuck in a porta potty while frying your face off.
he fell asleep naked and all I'm doing is staring at his weird balls
Randomize
