Pat told us he showed us his penis because he's "a nice guy".
Think I'm gonna go cougar hunting tonight... Any advice?
condoms and good judgment
Can I buy both of those at the same store?
The kids I taught this morning even knew i was drunk. One of them even said, and I quote, "You smell like my dad after he goes bowling."
Romantic bubble bath turned into splash war. We can't be adults about anything.
So, your gf couldn't walk up the stairs without your help, but she could knit you a scarf?
I think the fact that the scarf was made out of dental floss should be taken into account.
I WANT MY VAGINA TO POUND AT NICE THINGS.
I'm going to fake an anxiety attack to get to the front of the line. Save me some brisket.
The original plan involved fireworks and a lot more dildos but the new one is still okay.
So when I walked out, everyone was chanting ONE OF US, someone draped a lei over my head, and then she grabbed my ass and dragged me back into the bedroom. I'd say it was a pretty good night to lose my virginity.
And then the templeton police were like "oh I remember her, yeah the blue haired girl that we picked up cause she was passed out drunk on the side of the road"
who sends a dick pic at 3 am on a sunday honestly
seriously. and now it'll take him hours to clean up the glitter
How does one go about breaking up with their bf on vacation?
I may have just sent her dad a picture of my penis. His name's Myron, right?
No, Ethan, handcuffs and friendship bracelets are not "basically" the same thing.
If she didn't have scissors in her hand I would have motor boated the fuck out of her when she was done cutting my hair.
Randomize
