Approach what situation? Look, I dunno if you think I'm like some lezbo cheetah waitin in some shrubs to pounce on you the second I see you, but I'm not!
well, everyone in my office is getting a nice laugh right now. But seriously... please delete my number
his balls ACTUALLY tasted like nuts
It was weird to see you drinking wine out a glass instead of a red cup today
i dont have any money that hasnt already been designated for cigarettes and birth control
I found her under my bed eating airplane pretzels.
apparently "preggers as fuck" isn't an appropriate way to describe someone...
she's traveling up the coast with her camera and a stash of pot cookies eating food from different campuses. said she slept in a closet 2 states away last nite... of course I'm interested
Yes. Amanda is the only option and I want cake so I can sacrifice my vagina.
No shame December is a go.
For sure shouldn't do homework after beers and joints. Just cited like 3 sentences at the end with (History, 2013)
I was too drunk to remember throwing up so i probably didn't learn my lesson
My room looks so cute. Who wouldn't want to hook up with me in here?
I just choked eating whip cream from the can, and peed a little because I was coughing so hard. How am I still single.
Its official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world
Sitting across the table from one of my high school teachers who hasn't seen me since I was about 16 drinking a beer wearing a leotard
It's like Guy Diamond blew glitter into my vagina.
Randomize
