My farts woke her up so I pretended to be keep sleeping.
We will have to stop frequently for food, stretching legs, interesting things on the side of the road, and sex. So you might as well eat.
We decided to smoke and then made crosses on our foreheads for ash wednesday
mom would be proud
I need to stop sleeping with republicans and cowboys fans.
We went out. i got lost. dunno where they were. they slept in the car. i slept in an outdoor shower. i dont know anything else.
remind me in the morning to get the random kid out of the closet and to clean the pudding off the wall
Now she's making me sit here and look at pictures of guys she likes who look like bears. She's calling them her bear friends.
we should hire that guy that makes pancakes that we met last weekend for our next party. He can feed us, and regulate!
Nothing quite says Coachella like me doing high yoga in the middle of a field by myself
I applaud your efforts, but I have to say it was the bear we encountered that ultimately shut down the entire operation
You invited the cop in for a "Celebrity shot"
You jumped into so many bushes for no reason
Anyway, all that to say that tiny penises are a hassle.
Nothing says hey I wanna be your friend again like ambushing me with a dick pic
that moment you remember partying with someone several years ago.. and don't remember if you slept with them or not.
Randomize
