Being 21 is my favorite hobby I'm really good at it
Bea Arthur died yesterday
You shut your stupid mouth
Betty White is next, I just know it.
Betty White will never die! She's like Dick Clark. Rue McCalahan is next.
She was so adorably desperate I didn't have the heart to tell her I wasn't a lesbian. So now She's making waffles, may switch teams over this.
The guy that just projectile vomited over the balcony is now going down to find the pill he just puked up. He said he wasn't about to waste $15.
Are you pissed because you didn't get action, or the fact i got boned twice in public places tonight?
just so you know... i was wasted last night, but the evening is coming back to me in flashes... i made you eat gravy last night, didn't i?
she added emergen-c to the bong-water bro, brilliant.
woke up laying on an empty pizza box and some guy was doing blow off my butt...i guess i should thank you.
He said he was going to "rock my world". I wonder if he too has a false sense of confidence and accomplishment stemming from a complete lack of honesty from our own female counterparts.
Between the walk of shame, bar fight, karaoke, injuries, number of bar check-ins, and variety/quantity of alcohols and Advil consumed, I'd say HookerFest 2012 was a raging success.
The majority of the reason I want to get my pilot's license is so I can use the argument "FUCK YOU! I'M A PILOT!"
So I guess I bought a cat last night. Fuuuccckkk.
I got with him in my watermelon costume so ya you owe me $1
I swear to god if you settle for a trump supporting packers fan, I will not acknowledge your children. You're better than that.
some kid just came up 2 me bleeding yelling "thats how u riot"
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