In a few years, 50 babies 50 states. Like it?
dude, my own friends sent me home from a party last night. real cool assholes. real cool
I just put my retainer in and it tastes like weed
Cumbucket.....OH MY GOD THAT COMES UP AUTOMATICALLY NOW!!
We lost the cork forthe wine, so we used a tampon as a replacement. I never loves tampons so much
according to the contents of this bucket, last night i swallowed a whole teabag
this stripper weighs a pound. I feel like I should tip her in food.
you're close to getting here right? Because if you're still not here and I have to get dressed to answer the door for the pizza guy, i'm tipping him $100 on your credit card to spite you
It's a bathroom floor kind of morning.
No no I got the black eyes when I tried to do a flip off the second deck of a pontoon boat. Actually when I did a flip, it was a success.
Just paid off my possession ticket on 4/20. Helloooo awesome.
I just saw an easily 300lb shirtless man on a Vespa. My day has been simultaneously made and ruined.
Had sex in a blanket fort. How was your weekend?
It took me longer to jump start my car and get to his house than the fucking actually took.....
I don’t care if there’s a pandemic. My husband gave me a hall pass for my 40th birthday and I’m going to use it!
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