i had 75 notifications coming from ur status. here i was thinking i had friends.
The weird kid in front of me is reading an article titled "why don't i have a girlfriend?" the article then continues to talk about the mathematical equation for obtaining a girlfriend. exhibit a of why he is single
just used a caramelizing gun to spark a bowl, i don't think today could get much better than this.
his electricity got shut off. i felt like a pilgrim searching for his dick.
Her vagina turned into a vuvuzela. I didn't know it was a possible to have a wet nightmare.
You had me sold at "fucking you down the slide"
I can already almost taste penis in my mouth
You said that "grilled cheese was much to complex" and started to throw the buttered bread at the wall while eating all the cheese.
It's the building I live in, they were lucky I was wearing clothes at all
God he's so convenient, drugs, an parties all in one person. He's like the Walmart of delinquency.
trying to figure out what happened last night by looking around the apartment.
naked man under the piano. THE PLOT THICKENS.
I want morning sex. We can incorporate maple syrup into it somehow, it'll be fun
My gay card got upgraded to platinum status today.
Thanks for reminding me of all the hookups my brain has been trying to suppress...
That's what friends are foooooooor!
I may or may not be drinking in a church parking lot.
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