i friday night watching house. god, i need a life, friends, and a legitimate fake id.
I didn't have a rubber, but my dick had a date with a clorox wipe after we finished. I think I'm in the clear.
You should really come over right now. There's hot construction workers across the street. I'm gonna go pour beer on myself in a bikini on the sidewalk. See you in 5?
im afraid if i stop breathing i will turn into a porcupine
Apparently she came home completely covered in mud, pretending to be a bird...and she still had more sex than any of us this weekend.
Only catch is you have to sleep in the same bed as me. But no worries, I plan on being in a random guys hotel room every night. So it's essentially yours.
ps I'm eating candy off our sex sheets. gotta say the only thing better than sweet tarts is sweet tarts with a hint of sex. perfect post vday situation
shit went down at the bar when this girl with 'morals' totally cock blocked a married guy. she actually kicked IN the bathroom door when they were fucking in there. then we all did shots.
Yo plow her in the living room were all outside tommy wants to see
You'd love her. She's outspoken like us. And appreciates a big penis and a strong drink.
You threw up in your own shoe then wore it home
Update: day 5 and Scott has not left the apartment. Still smoking. Pizza roll supply dwindling.
If I could I'd magically teleport drugs and alcohol to you. Like a bad decision fairy.
I can't wait to see you again. It will be like when we first started dating- but with less clothes.
So were driving two hours to go to a club and Charles packed me a sippy cup full of tequila. He thinks of everything!
Randomize