Just spent the last three hours in the library successfully refreshing facebook
i guess when we were done i grunted "unforgiveable" and walked out.
There was a punch bowl full of straight vodka. Glass bowl, ladle, vodka, and no punch at all. It was something of a rough night
you screamed santa and jumped in front of 50 kids to tell him you wanted a bong for christmas.
I thought stuff was gonna go really bad after he filled the super-soaker with kerosene. but it all turned out pretty well.
And then he said "if you were planning on bird feeding me that's not ok"
Wait also totally unrelated but can horses sit down?
I just tried to picture one and I don't think they can cause I can't envision it
She tried to beat him up using a half gallon of Bacardi, instead she got tangled in Kayla's hanging bra and broke a lamp. She can party with us anytime.
Just did body shot off a midget. Pretty good start.
Only you would consider your best friend fucking your boyfriend to be a sign of everlasting friendship
when you wake up naked in a bed with glowsticks, a rolled ankle, a hangover, and a condom; alone. you wonder shit
I like to listen to classical music when I eat taco bell. I think it cancels out the aura of poverty and desperation.
my roommates gone so i can take codeine and sleep naked
I know you do it only because of my toyota, but thank you for fucking me. Seriously.
You know the story of the boner party, right? They got stuck in the mountains and ate each other?
It was the Donner party... boner party was the porn version...
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