Come to wood. Julia is putting pants on. We must stop her.
listening to techno makes your hand move faster while masterbating
I guess what I'm trying to say is you've fucked more people than the economy.
we couldnt find her phone in the morning so i called it and found it under the bed. my name came up as 'regret'
I need $500 dollars more than I need a night of dignity... I gonna do it.
Drunk on Tuesday. Double fisting. Mmmbop is playing. Only girl in the group. Life is complete.
I have just figured that it takes exactly 2 and a half rums to clean the bathroom..
future-me showed up mid trip and gave us a thumbs up.
He tried to do the do on me last night and my exact words were "stay away from my princess parts. they're renovating."
Dude get here. I just re-invented nachos. For real though. They werent real before right now
Nothing like sitting at your midterm pissed at yourself because you put your graphing calculator batteries in your vibrator and forgot to put them back in before the exam 😑
Fun. You missed it. Michael broke a door with his erection.
Did you wake up next to Karina?
So that's her name
I can handle him. I'm made of spite and hot wings.
I will give him this, every time we go to the club he gets a stripper's actual number.
Randomize
