I just hope my dad was drunk enough to not remember the whole convo we had about anal.
Dude. I haven't taken a shit in a week.
Try anal, it works wonders.
Well I'm going to a gay club in my banana suit. You should come. My bro is going as a pirate. I don't know if there's a theme.
If a fat man falls in the shower and nobody is in the apartment, does his pride still hurt? Answer: yes
After you pregamed and were plastered you saw the cop was parked illegally so you gave him a citizens arrest
let's skip the party, and just play drunken wii, again. its time to give my vag a break.
Giving me the bigger bowl of ramen isn't considered "romantic"
Walk of Shame today included voting.
I cant believe you went home with her.. Your poor immune system and the shit you put it through.
He was visibly upset that you'd rather eat nachos than have sex with him.
You wouldn't be the first friend to shit himself in the last 7 days
They wouldn't let me hang out the sun roof and sing apple bottom jeans in the drive thru of hardee's i think i no longer like these ppl
I wish you could take over my body and feel what my nipple feels like right now
Remember that girl that we found passed out in the dorm study room under a pile of money and jimmy johns wrappers? She's standing right on front of me.
The man was doing everything in his power to get away from his wife, including go into the gay club.
Randomize
