guys are not supposed to queef...right?
Soooo my gf got the droid and doesn't have BBM anymore, I think its over for her
My flask crushed my baggie full of aderall in my backpack, why can't my demons just live together in peace
I'm still amazed at how you managed to puke in every plant on the whole top floor at the mall without a single person noticing and without missing a step.
my neighbors garage sale is really cutting into the time of day when i can smoke weed on my deck.
There's an australian, my relationship has no hope.
It was about the point the universe collapsed in on itself and I was a singularity of insanity that I realized I was tripping balls.
There is no such thing as a great breathalizer story. That isn't a thing that exists.
Done deal I'm dying it right at this moment. I'll need a red Speedo and a half shirt that is extremely tight. Like nipple tight.
Oh my god did you actually lose a tooth
and then I said "oh, I see the price of Plan B has gone up". and the pharmacist looked at me very sadly. I was just trying to make conversation.
Woke up with a $50 attached to my penis with a rubber band..
Sweet. Tell little Richard to buy us a sack and a pizza.
I'm so pissed theres no male strip clubs around where we are staying I looked extensively
I'll start working on my manners when you stop using please and thank you in the bedroom.
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
Randomize
