He just spent five minutes trying to sling shot a cheese-it off his dick and into my mouth.
I think dad's getting high again. His last google search was "awesome ping pong shit."
Ok well I'll be up all night studying if you need a wake up call or a place to put your penis.
She may be a slut, but at least she's a dedicated slut. She's always super tan and has her shit shaved in really cool designs.
Periouds do not concern me. Biploogival needs are buological needs.
What's a quick way to get over an ex-boyfriend? To hear about how he threw up in a cup and then drank it. That's how.
There are 144 bottles of wine in my mother's pantry. She just shrugged her shoulders and said it was for the wine pong tournament on Christmas Day.
You are. Embrace it. But you are the right kind of asshole.
also, made a drinking game out of my birthday photos....drink everytime alcohol is in a photo. going through all 350 of them.
I gave him my yeast infection. HOW THE FUCK DOES THAT EVEN WORK?
Fuck off I wasn't that drunk. I was still able to toss froot loops in the air and catch them in my mouth.
And in your bra. It was quite entertaining.
Because bro, I don't want your dick being touched mid conversation.
Hey, I'm 22. I'm allowed to have a sex life and you're going to hear about it.
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos?
and i walked downstairs to find my brother using nunchucks, and making the appropriate noises. i simply asked "why"; his reply? "why the fuck do you think?". i love my family.
Randomize