Just checked, might have creepy crawlies. What does chlamydia feel like? Not near wireless to consult webMD.
hey soul. what's that? you, dignity and pride are left for the night? coulda told me that before i vomited all over my mother.
I hope you never procreate. Philly is already the ugliest city in the country.
note to self..putting cheap vodka in a bottle of grey goose does not make it taste better
Freshman just walked up and thanked me for letting him hide under my bed when the cops showed up to the house last weekend
In anticipation of No Judgement Tuesday, I believe a Can We LOL At What We Did Last Night Saturday is in order
making a list of all the places we've peed. separate list of places we peed when we were stoned
Sorry for rubbing my feet on you and repeating "good pony, stay."
it was fucking weird. cops showed up but they appreciated our 3 story bong. and then some girl tried to steal our cheese and butter
if you guys find pieces of my teeth don't throw them out please
He took a picture of me to show his boss why he was late...Is that a compliment or not?
Is it a bad thing for a seven year old to call one an alcoholic? Asking for a friend..
I ended up sleeping on a park bench. Never using Tinder again.
just woke up on the floor with a bottle in my hand. and by bottle, i mean a baby bottle. half filled with tequila.
I got wing sauce on the baby and licked it off. If you were wondering how I'm doing.
Randomize
