You know your creepy when you look at recently tagged facebook photos of girls you want to hook up with and they include prom pictures
well apparently i yelled MY VAGINA WAS ANNIHILATED and his whole family heard
I think I'd remember a dick in my mouth
This is the last time I call a hotel to see if you or some random guy paid for the room last night.
There's nothing more uncomfortable than drifting into sexual fantasies on a roadtrip and realizing you have a boner with three other dudes in the car.
i licked the inside of a toilet bowl for $14. i really can't talk about my night.
Woke up with a chicken parm sandwich in my clutch. Aaaand I'm eating it.
I heard porn and smelled bacon cooking. I knew you had to be home.
I ran into my boss at the liquor store on our lunch hour we both just stood there awkwardly until i was like your car bar or mine hahaha we both need a cab
I can only only sleep there on nights I orgasm cause he snores so loud and if he leaves me hanging one more time ill probably cut off his dick from lack of sleep and frustration
After what I experienced at 6am this morning, all I can say is chew your noodles thoroughly.
He showed me his sex playlist and it looked good, so I slept with him.
Don't care if they even pay me; I lifeguard for the fringe benefits -- free tourist vagina in the Hilton jacuzzi every single night
Dude, the worst part is I can't even pretend it didn't happen because she posted a video of it on Facebook.
Thanks for fucking the skin off my dick
It was a joint effort between my vagina my feet and your hand you can't just blame that all on me
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