KATE. I JUST NOTICED THAT LOWERCASE D'S LOOK LIKE SLIPPERS.
don't worry, your friend will b fine, they treat virgins nicely around here
whatever it's my dick and i'll put it wherever i want
new rule: i'm not touching his penis until he takes me out to dinner.
you know, if you actually abided by that rule there would be many more successful restauranteurs in ohio.
Just suggested things for my dad to get my mom for Christmas in terms of "yeah you'll get laid."
It's like being the dunk pilot of a plane full of pornstars and drunkenness.
Honestly, I've had enough of his asshole to last me the new year.
Please tell me you're talking about his personality.
We didn't want to make a pit stop so I just helped my husband pee in a bottle. No one told me this was part of love.
Hey, I think I showed you a picture of my nephew while we were fucking last night. Sorry, I know it's weird, I just really love that kid. Again, sorry.
So, just saw a lady hysterically sobbing in a Walmart at 3 AM. Someone's not having a happy mother's day.
Do you know how hard it is to give a bj in your dead grandmothers car
I DONT WANT YOUR DICK. I WANT BRUNCH.
You're telling that to the kid drinking Jack in nothing but a graduation cap
sober me is not impressed with the quality of people that drunk me gives our phone number to
I'm not fucking you with a Stormtrooper helmet on!
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