Wow, t9 really hates the phrase "slap her in her sanctimonious pie-hole."
she's like bobby knight all she does is scream and point
Everyone knows relationships are a winter sport
It's one of those mornings when I woke up thinking that i really shouldn't have hooked up with my ex boyfriend's girlfriend just to prove a point.
In the 30 seconds it took me to leave the bar I let the barback motorboat me, ripped open a stranger's shirt and bit his chest, then made out with El Camino dude. No, I'm not coming out tonight.
My mom opened up my bank statement today....my first alcohol intervention class is at 7:30am tomorrow.
I'll have party bus drop you off in the morning.
Was he good-huge or like "what the fuck do i do with this"-huge
I need to quit being a slut. It's to the point that I got my period today and automatically I Believe I Can Fly popped into my head.
Do you think there are two dudes living in an apartment somewhere that go to the store and call it Brocery shopping?
Oh god...probably.
I just overheard an "I'm going to get your dick so hard" conversation at Costco.
Tbh the only thing I was fully concerned about from the dream was what type of fucked up parallel universe doesn't have Coca-Cola
I'm making a will, in it I'm leaving you my skull.
i just woke up, first off why is there pineapple everywhere and who's underwear is on my ceiling fan ?
I know that whole thing was awkward. Not worth the piece of cake.
I've run into almost every guy I've ever slept with today. It's like they know just how horny I am.
Randomize
