I just saw how many times I called you last night. You're welcome.
It makes me feel uncomfortable and unsafe when he licks my pants
I decided that $2 and a kiss on the cheek was a great tip for the pizza girl. No one is REALLY sure how much I've have to drink.
do you wanna get some fucking pussy tonight.....THEN DRESS LIKE IT
We are two peas in an std pod
I just tipped the cab driver with pistachio nuts. And he loved it.
I will cut you
Oddly enough thats the second time today someones said that to me
Put that in perspective
I feel like delivery guys should know that when you order lunch for one and answer the door wearing sweatpants, there's no need to say "Happy Valentine's Day."
I asked him for something to clean up with after sex and he handed me a sham wow. A SHAM WOW
Did he think I was flirting with him when I ordered a hot dog bc no
I'm scared because his knowledge of star trek is turning me on
In going to go underground and live with the mole people for a while.
But really, someone with a penis give me attention before I start posting nudes on Instagram.
You wouldnt listen to us when we told you there was no place that was selling girlscout cookies at 4:30am...
Idk she seemed really innocent until she snorted that line of vicodin
Randomize
