I've been awake for 20+ hrs. What does that mean? I just realized if BSB were Twilight characters, Brian would be Jake and Howie would be Edward based on the video for "Everybody". That's unsettling.
It's unsettling that you took the time to think about that.
i feel like i'm a professional at blowjobs i can deep throat an entire spatula
Throw up on the ground, people dancing to loud Bollywood music, seats literally missing. Fuck I hate public transit
He gave her the shocker .. I didn't know people really did that.
And then he used the flashlight app to illuminate me giving him head. Thanks IPhone
It was going well until he told me about the 7k he made in college to be in a gay porn
We started a mustache riot at white castle at 4 in the morning. Will explain in detail.
Smoked a Vape in the library status: completed
i've eaten like 19 popsicles... what the fuck have you done today?
I just hit myself in the face while taking off my shirt. I could never be a stripper.
Whenever you get off. By "pick me up from work" I mean, "pick me up from a bar by work at your earliest convenience" :)
there's a 50/50 chance the night will end in alcohol-induced rituals of satanic nature
Also I will be receiving my own bra in the mail because I left it at his place, woops
Next time we smoke please remind me to put my bong back in my build a bear box. My mom says if I leave it out one more time she's keeping it for herself.
Haha i really think theres no better way to tell a paramedic sorry for breaking your nose than a beautiful and healthy edible arrangement...
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