watching a tv show about cocaine.. just explained to my mom why the test monkey chose coke over food
they're scary. like turkeys that ate nuclear fucking steroids.
how do i word it so it doesnt sound like im asking him if he has ever been in jail.
Awkward interaction of the day: Staring at some guy trying out if he is or is not the guy that woke me up yesterday by getting arrested in front of my apartment.
He was sitting at the table eating ice and said, "I'm pretty sure everyone in my family has nipples."
Like what kind of adult things? Whats more adult than drinking at 2pm on a monday?
370HSSV 0773H read that upside down
what are you doing with your life
I just explained my sex life to the "if you give a moose a muffin" book... Is that weird?
i definitely signed you up to receive text message notifications from a jukebox last night. Not even sorry.
Having sex with my girlfriend wearing my old Tom Brady jersey on the day he's freed is the closest I'll come to a 3way with Tom
Also, for real, though? Did we even have sex or were we just jumping on the bed drunk and naked...because with me that's actually a possibility.
Idk maybe I'll talk to him once he gets out of jail just to yell at him and get my strawberry ice cream back.
Are you done yet? I've eaten three corndogs so I'm ready 2 party.
In California. Through an entire game + OT. That’s a long time to have an octopus in your pants.
I'm peeing on your house...you up?
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