U Should have said " it's ok baby most girls Sh*t when I do that.
before smithy murders me i need you to know 3 things. 1) i got with smithy's little sister last night. 2) i will always love you like my own brother. 3) smithy's little sis digs anal.
i mean you're really good at taking the morning after pill...so you could put that on your resume..
yeah, i think fast in a bad sitatuion and am able to react with appropriate measures
She asked to borrow my chapstick then said "I promise I won't get herpes on it"
i love that when i tell my kids and grandkids about how we first met it will be about this little thing called a "poke" on facebook
The Shake Weight not only toned my arms but significantly improved my hand job form and efficiency.
I still can't figure out why that's not in the commercial.
I keep getting texted pictures of my husband with other men. I can't figure out if he wants a divorce or a threesome?
I found the perfect eye liner, it passed the blow job test, no smudging!!
I was so intoxicated last night I was giving out my real name and number ugh.
just go where the car takes you. fingers crossed its here with breakfast.
Either your boy toy or the kid who pulled a knife on me in high school is here
My manager said you offered to make out with him to ensure I keep my job if I didn't show up to work today
To be fair, this is a tequila-while-rewatching-Benedict-Cumberbatch-as-Van-Gogh idea, so I don't know if it will hold up tomorrow.
It's only considered alcoholism if you're drinking from something other than a cup....right?
I don't care how many things you caught on fire, it's still not as bad as doing coke and then filming yourself having sex.
Randomize
