I'm totally counting that party when he kept putting his hands down my pants as a date.
I'm surprised you like me... I didn't think I was your type.
Blonde hair and big tits is every guys type.
i just threw up a quarter into the urinal in the bathroom at the bar. everybody else stared then cheered. that drunk
Sure, fine. Daughter just told me she is not a virgin anymore. I am gonna start drinking now
Next time we throw a party together I would appreciate it if you didn't try to get my friends to hook up with friends of yours you know have herpes
I JUST WANT TO HAVE MILDLY SOCIALLY ACCEPTABLE SEX WITH HIM AND CALL HIM CUPCAKE.
At my place... I'm gonna be honest though stonewall Jackson is not going to be able to rally the troops. Too many shots of tequila
I just had to take a picture of someone whose testicles are bigger than my fists combined. Living the dream.
you really need to remember next time not to write your name and phone number on the paper its wrapped in.
But what if it got lost?
its illegal. you dont want people to contact you if they find it.
I am seriously only coming over if there are McNuggets. I want 10 bitch. Honey mustard.
If you think eating a bowl of leftover stuffing and drinking champagne from the bottle in dirty sweats at 9am is sexy... Then yeah, I'm your girl.
Basically I will actually need a reindeer pulled sleigh to make it to all the penises in one night.
We could probably bang our way to enlightenment. However acid helps.
You walked right into the door. Even the door guy and security guys were laughing.
im mourning your vaginas lack of frictional upkeep
Randomize
