yeah well you didnt even puke from the alcohol. we cut you off and went to huck finn's and told you that the "irish cream" coffee creamers had baileys in it, so you shot down like eight of them and puked all over the floor. it was great. we cheered you on and everything
I think we should go ahead and pin a note to my shirt when we go out that says"do NOT buy me shots"
On the back we can put possible side effects may include: indiscriminate making out, brief crying spells, yelling in jibberish, and sudden sleep.
I guess calling a coworker a lesbian sea cow is some kind of violation.
You wanted to speak to the manager of mcdonalds as to why a "bag of cheeseburgers" isn't a menu option.
Her bed looked like it had just hosted a water balloon fight. It was that good.
i cannot be the only guy who has bought the every day with rachael ray magazine for use as porn
I'm going to text my booty call and tell him nevermind, that I got the job finished by myself. That will teach him to text back faster.
This lesson is brought you by a psychology class.
blowjobs from left handed girls are noticably better than from righties. these are the most important things I've learned this semester
We were high as balls fucking in the back seat when we saw the blue lights. He's like, "I got this" and walked over butt ass naked and goes, "Sorry dude, we're just banging" and the cop apologized for disturbing us and drove off.
Your vagina doesn't want to be violated with garnishes. I get it.
in that moment our bushes were one. and in that moment we were pure.
where will you be at 9:30 tonight?
piledriving you in your roommate's bed?
It was the cape. I can't control myself when I wear a cape.
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog.
No no. Thank you. Killed multiple birds with one penis.
Randomize
