Yea, forget your mom. She will be home after her one night stand.
yes, too bad my tears were being wiped away by tits in my face
i felt like we were having sex on ultimate fighter, and people on the outside kept yelling ELBOW ELBOW! KNEES KNEES!
was stoked on phone sex until he started reciting lines from star wars
Going to bed. I have to wake up early and teach small children. And then have affairs with their fathers. I'm going to get deported.
That would explain his violent outburst while watching barefoot contessa...
don't say the first was when I crawled under into the dressing room
Honestly it's a super power. I can try it a million different ways and nothing happens. Donnie casually says "ok this is now a toppless party" and it all kicks-off
Im pretty sure breakfast wine is a thing, and if it isn't, I just invented it
Can you bring me some underwear? I feel uncomfortable going underwear less at a Remembrance Day ceremony.
There is a goat eating lettuce out of our fridge. Do you wanna grab a bloody mary?
this potential sugar daddy just sent me a photo of him butt naked in the woods saying he wants to "grow our spirits together." so i think i found us a new drug dealer!
On a scale of "huh, that's interesting" to "holy porn stars, batman". How good?
Definitely closer to "holy porn stars, batman".
I just had drunken sex with an eagle scout behind the boy scouts of america building. what has my life come to?!
I just wish he would stop trying to bring his emotional baggage into our sexual relationship.
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