elementary school lunch room party. everyone brings their own lunch and can trade stuff. all juice is booze.
you should buy a sheep. A) you get an awesome pet. B) free coat
i dont know you, but i just did a line with your business card.
The boys in front of me put beer, red plastic cups, ping pong balls, lighterfluid, and twelve packs of pantyhose on the conveyor belt. Whatever drinking game they're playing, I want a part in.
I'm not sure how exactly, but this funeral has turned into a ridiculous night of drinking games
the ladder is at the bottom of the pool
nothing like a walk of shame in front of a cnn news crew to start the morning off right
Yesterdays boozy weather forecast has been extended to today
spending my first valentines day single in 3 years blazed and eating heart shaped brownies i bought myself. WHO NEEDS A MAN.
You slid down a wall, tried to pull your cast off and yelled that casts were too conformist.
he only noticed i dyed my hair purple like halfway through sex and he looked really shocked and he just said "You look like Barney." as he came.
Only you could go on vacation to visit family and hook up with a pro NFL player from Tinder
fucked him on the porch to avoid the chanting that always happens when we leave the bedroom. backfired when a group of freshman walked by and started screaming like fucking babies.
Ya’ll! My debit card got switched with my boss’ at lunch today (both Red Wells Fargo)....I realized it at whole foods AFTER I ran it for $100 at Vanity Room getting my vaj waxed 🤦🏻♀️🤦🏻♀️🤦🏻♀️. Most awkward IOU ever tomorrow.
She was all for the threesome til I showed her a pic of my boyfriend. I think I should re-evaluate my life decisions.
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