i've got a dick and you've got a pussy....what is the problem??
My bad bro. I had no idea that when i suggested our triva team name be my last abortion tickled, that she would bring up cancun. Stay strong i think she really liked you
the ice cream truck is coming omgomg
dude, it's 2 am.
but its COMING
last night i found where hot topic managers go to die after they get fired.
So im using the back of a keystone box as notecard for my presentation
just heard someone say they saw a guy puke while riding a bike across campus without stopping
I have the money I owe you for auctioning off your black thongs. Best 30 bucks ever spent
After we fucked he shhhh'd me and said your welcome
Touche. Dude, I fastened garters. Drunk. I deserve a medal from a drag queen.
Haha he was not a poor little guy. If he'd talked to me or something I might feel bad. But since I saw him groping other girls as well as myself there's no sympathy coming from me
He's just picking out the right girl. I do the same thing with fruit. Grope them, squeeze them, smell them. I have to know I'm getting quality fruit.
If, when you wake up, you're wondering why you're in the bathtub, it's because when I tried to move you, you yelled that that was cheating and tried to kick me in the face.
Fair enough.
On my way home from the dentist. Was going to call and see if you would like to wake and bake, then remembered my sister is an adult
Blizzard, Hour 9: I'm 7 beers deep and have finished Ninja Turtles. I am listening to the NYPD and Nassau Fire Dept pipes and drums and writing new drum scores in my head, which I may or may not remember tomorrow
I woke up naked next to my hot manager. Left before she woke up, and worked an entire shift with her. She has no idea.
But then our conversations are like black box recordings. Just the stuff you hear when the plane is going down
Randomize
