oh wait, my morality sensor is a little fucked up since I almost let my little sister's friend blow me.
Got laid at the last second. Facebook chat is good for something afterall.
i just licked my manager on accident and i'm freaking out
i can't believe i had a foursome before a threesome
I'm questioning the dried chocolate syrup on my tits.
whiskey dick. though we did manage to break my closet door and flood the bathroom.
I've been alternating between telling people I was mauled by a bear or hit by a car to explain the massive unexplainable bruise on my leg. Slightly more worried now that the car idea is believable.
Ya bro it was wild. Hey, is latex digestible?
I'm afraid I might run into that fat chick that sucked on me in the hospital parking lot while her friend cried in the car next to us, but I may be willing to take that chance.
I've had more lap dances than hrs of sleep since Thursday, this is why you're planning all three of my bachelor parties
& he told me that I give the best head ever.. like can I get that on a medal?
Had sex in a blanket fort. How was your weekend?
They were out of watermelon smirnoff, so we got you a fifth of 5 o'clock and an actual watermelon.
I would like to reiterate that I went to give lessons and ended up having a three way instead
But I’m still curious to know... how did the homemade porno go?
Randomize
