THE most awkward situation I have EVER been in
Also, I just threw up a little in my mouth and had to act like everything was totally fine.
I had to puke in a pizza box on the drive home. People saw.
got arrested for "breaking and entering" last night when i supposedly went into the wrong house made a sandwich and tried jerking off to porn on the tv...the cops told me they came in while my dick was out...oh and i missed work this morning and got fired
May God have mercy on my new vibrator.
my history teacher totally just suggested that we record his lectures and play drinking games with them later so that we pay attention to the material.
Its mothers day and I have choke marks around my neck. Thanks for that.
He let me keep his flannel as a "good job" for the great head I gave him.
i drunkenly decided i was going to take down all the male cheerleaders, gay or not. 1 down about 10 more to go.
That would explain his violent outburst while watching barefoot contessa...
I woke up next to her boyfriend and she woke up next to mine....
This is like a fucked up game of musical chairs.
Your subconscious sucks. Mine is awesome. I have a recurring dream where I manage a chocolate factory run by big titted hookers.
A) you're a liar. B) that would be awesome.
She is still a psychotic unstable bitch, and is therefore PERFECT drinking game fodder
dude, we need a reunion soon, my vagina needs a deep massage. The kitty is ready to play
Yes, he does have a boomerang dick. No matter how many times I throw it away, it keeps coming right back and winds up hitting me in the head.
Apparently it's not a "bonding moment" when you realize you use the same porn site as your boyfriend
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