At some point last night I thought pissing in a bottle was an awesome idea when I woke up a little piss was actually in the bottle a lot was on my TV remote
My dad just walked in on me screwing the chick from the bar...the look of relief on his face was sort of hurtful.
i woke up next to the toilet with a chipped tooth, somebody elses shirt on, and a random guys id in my pocket
The sweet smell of jungle juice and bad decisions is calling our name.
I'm sure that's not what the inventers of the Turkey baster had in mind, but that's what I had in mine.
And PS thanks for calling it my "sexual liberation" and not "slut fest 2010: part deux!"
for future reference: playing drunken strip-twister is a euphemism for a threesome. just thought you should know.
You keep saying things....but all I'm hearing is kegs
TONGUES ARE JUST MEAT TENTACLES IN OUR MOUTHS OMG
HOW ABOUT I DON'T WAKE UP TO THESE TYPES OF TEXTS
I was proudly and successfully the first girl ever to get kicked out of a the bar for being too drunk last night. Loving spring break.
We just took an Eskimo family picture.. It's pretty cute honestly
no we just smoked too much weed and listened to the tarzan soundtrack. phil collins is amazing
It was a simpler time. With fewer STDs.
It's really hard to tweet with a pussy in your face demanding attention.
Okay first of all fuck you and everything you stand for because Taco Bell is amazing.
Randomize