this beer tastes like vomit already
birth control should be required to get into college
It's like you don't even want to get drunk with me everyday, anymore.
you have no chance. her best friend is a human abstinence poster.
Yo I tried to get u stoned for ur dreams by blowing weed smoke in ur face while u slept. Ur welcome.
I cleaned out the fridge, had to pound the brews. I am going to be wrecked for my final at 1
You rolled around on the floor, yelled about being a "half-zombie" and bit that guy on the leg who was hitting on me.
Dan I was a mess I made out with a 40 yr old who gave me a wad of cash for Christmas. Like wtf
Lets start a coed nudist frat/sorority. It would be amazing. Or just an orgy club. It would also be amazing
My coworker's brand new computer showed up today. He's on vacation for the next week. Brian and I are installing Windows 98 on it.
I just had to close my blinds so my neighbors wouldn't see me drinking a beer at 9 am. GO CHIEFS!
I just watched my high school guidance counselor pee in the backyard of this party.
Are you feeling better yet?
I need a nap and a new butthole
It was terrible. I am sore from head to toe, neither of us got off, and we were at it for an hour and a half, I faked having a heart episode so we could stop. It worked.
I get dinner and bf perks from the one guy. But dick with no commitment from the other. I’m living my best life.
Randomize
