I am not sure how to feel about the fact that I was turned on by someone with a penis. I can't believe Lady Gaga would do this to me. :(
So i just got diagnosed with swine flu. im at walgreens looking like shit and this guy keeps staring at me. Im so gonna cough in his face.
well, dont
I didnt. i just coughed then looked at him menacingly. he got it.
I realized today that I should stop thinking so much with my vagina instead of my brain.
Please tell me this doesn't mean another "surprise road trip" where I spend all my money on gas and the SURPRISE destination is the abortion clinic.
But what if I pay for the gas?
he said the way to his heart was through his stomach, i told him if he wanted to eat my food he had to eat my kitty
smooth operator
your brother is wearing shin guards in the swimming pool. i have a feeling that this happens often
Are you asking me on a date where we get shithoused and do some fingerpainting?
Drinking down Plan B with a 5 hour energy. Winding down welcome week in style.
I think my mom knows im high. It could be because im slow dancing with my cat in the kitchen. The dip and kiss is what gave it away.
I am sitting here. Drinking from a bottle of vodka. Eating shredded cheese from a bag and waiting on him to pick me up after he finishes with his girlfriend. This is what dreams are made of.
Driving by his house every hour is not stalking, it's a reconnaissance mission... How else can I confront him
I tell myself every day I shouldn't be friends with you
Its raining shots and i keep catching them in my mouth like you with dicks shits crazy
Okay... I just said "preach it" to the pokemon theme song. I'm hammered.
I never thought the most recent texts on my phone would be with ASAP ferg and my ex...
just like fucking own it. stare that cop in the eye and just keep masturbating "yeah motherfucker Im high as shit and this feels great"
Randomize
