She does have a great personality.
Yeah, in her vagina.
You don't even know the meaning of faking an orgasm until you sleep with an uncircumcised ginger.
almost passed out on the way to class today.. laid down in a construction site. bad idea
being alone eating nachos and drinking from a giant munchen beermug really isnt that sad
Does she usually listen to trance and cut up broccoli when she's high?
Just saw my bank statement. It literally goes liquor store pizza place liquor store pizza place bar bar bar liquor store pizza place 711 for snacks withdrawl for drugs rinse and repeat
Bonus points if someone shits their pants. Only 1/2 bonus points if it's you
Bonus points are bonus points regardless
It was dark, she woke me up, gave me a blowjob and then whispered in my ear: do you know who I am?
He never gives up. He's like the fucking little engine that could of hook ups
You stared at the ground for like 20 minutes willing yourself to get sober
IF WE WERE REALLY BEST FRIENDS FOREVER YOU GUYS WOULD AGREE TO A WATCHING A PORNO PARTY
I told him you're making deviled eggs for the party. Sisters make deviled eggs to get their sisters laid. It's science.
Why does everyone always assume I'm fucking their boyfriends?
You are fucking her boyfriend.
I think I’ve been affected by his dad mustache. I wanna ride it.
Apparently my hair turned out really good because I got my butthole licked by a stranger last night
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