Would it be cruel if i sold xanax instead of adderall to freshman unfamiliar to the drug-taking profession?
Dude, I swear her tits are going to give me a concusion.
When I woke up in the parking lot today I decided it is not a good idea to hang out with you anymore.
I am so hungover and cant move but craving a Wendys frosty so bad. I might have to watch 2 girls 1 cup just to settle the urge
she just walked in and said "well, I got peed on again"...
I blacked out after the shots of canned lobster bisque.
who were those guys at the table sniffing dryer sheets?
You are going to be so proud of me, I'm wearing underwear AND tights. That's two layers more than usual between my vagina and the world.
We should go, because after those margaritas time is running out on my sobriety clock.
Do you think Brian would let me smoke while we fuck? I'm not sure ill survive exams without a constant nicotine intake
I just love that it's Veterans Day because I know in my heart that I have serviced some of their brethren in the dirtiest, hottest, most shameful ways possible.
I did not know male screamers existed until now. Good for him. Good for my ego.
I can't believe I haven't fucked an Elvis impersonator yet.
I dropped my pants and she just stared until she asked how is that even possible? Best night ever lmao
You followed me up the stairs while i was throwing up yelling "projectile! projectile! projectile!"
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