he just said he was sorry he wasnt been able to come by more often coz things are really crazy with that girl
you mean his girlfriend
As it turns out, strippers don't accept checks.
All I need in life is some dick and a big mac.
Bring my lunch to work in liquor store bags is doing nothing for my career
seriously, i am too high for the omelet station to be playing Being For The Benefit Of Mr Kite at 7am
Glad we went casual last night, made my 1pm walk of shame through Walmart a little less obvious
Managed to get through family dinner without anyone knowing I was tripping balls. Christmas miracle. He exists.
She was touching herself and looking a shoes online. My debt is bad enough without bringing that hot mess into my life.
Just like to put it out there it's surprising how little reception a dog cage has
Not my type. One of those types that loves that they're educated, could drink their red wine and have an intellectual conversation and have a wonderful time
An adult?
So I'm going to regale you with a tale of someone who went out, was fed way to many shots, got super wasted and now has a date with one of the security guards from the building but has no idea what his name is. That someone is me
please tell me he didn't just scream 'i am the yiff lord' at the cops
I wish I could be the kind of drunk Bobbi is... She stumbles around outside at 4am with a broken high heel and babbling about rainbows and getting dick...
I just woke up and my ass is covered in honey and my eye brows are shaved off.
kick those bitches in the teeth and tell them mama came to party
Randomize
