she called my cock the "semen sword" and then we invented a position called excalibur
I just saw a woman point to her daughter and scream at her husband THIS IS YOUR GENES, THIS IS YOU.
Haha. We better find him. He looked like he came out of Switzerland's vagina, he's that much of a blonde beauty.
I think I might stay on campus instead of going home for thanksgiving and see how many townies I can hook up with and no one will be around to judge
wanna get hammered and throw tomatoes at the people standing in line for the midnight showing of harry potter and yell whichcraft is evil
Josh has a goal of being naked in every RAs room this year. He's already 3/11.
Just smoked out of an apple with Steve Jobs. I love Halloween.
Good news. I heard back from the doctor and I don't have a liver problem.
...yet.
I can measure my amount of vomit in solo cups.
I promised him we could have sex if he would let me take him to the hospital to get stitches.
Officially conquered sex on my couch with my dad asleep in the next room
I like how you say "conquered" as if that was your sole mission in life
I changed his name in my phone to "Irrelevant" last night. Not changing it back.
Got out of the uber to projectile vomit in the McDonald's drive thru. Gonna take a break from the Cuervo for a while.
walk of shame across osu's campus on game day. i can see all the spots i threw up last night. its like my personal yellow brick road.
Could someone explain to me why there were 40 individually wrapped burritos in the fridge when I woke up this morning?
Randomize
