Today I realized that I've had whole drunk relationships with people. And sober me has and wants no part in it.
they just came back. i guess "were gonna go get dinner" means "were gonna fuck for 5 minutes at the little league field"
i don't remember her name, but i don't need it unless we decide to hook up again. but even then, i can get away with not knowing it for a while. it's not like we have actual conversations.
I need a booty call who doesn't know my boyfriend or my friends.
He looked me straight in the eye when he was fingering me last night...it was very serial killer.
Bath mats should not be used at mops. they don't work. consider this a drunk psa
Just had a flashback of you announcing "your nipples aren't that big for the size of your boobs, I've seen them"
just tried to puke while my RA was trying to puke in the stall next to me.bonded for life
It started out just like any other night: was watching a Zach Effron movie, drinking tequila out of a water bottle. I don't understand how this got out of hand.
I JUST MADE OUT WITH A BRITISH SOCCER PLAYER. LONG LIVE THE QUEEN. GOD BLESS THAT COUNTRY.
As pissed as she was, you would've thought I was trying to get back into his pants instead of his booze collection.
Turns out end of the world sex is H-O-T, HOoot! I'll be the only progressive lady smiling today
Hey every now and then can you tell me you want to fuck me to boost my confidence? Thanks.
I wear drunk well.
True life: I inadvertently fucked a whole friend group. More details to come tonight.
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