when i got to my bed there was a handwritten note that said "wash the sheets." sleeping on the couch.
no, didnt close...
What?! she made the first move and invited you back to her place. thats like striking out in t-ball pathetic...
Just watched porn on a 60 inch plasma screen TV... So that's where the clitoris is
Cause i'm hanging over the toilet bowl and thinking about your ball in my mouth is not helping
If this wasn't a work function my tits would be out already.
in case you were wondering, even a BJ under a blanket on the back of a bus only lifts a 14-hour bus ride to borderline tolerable.
I think I've just evolved into some kind of vodka fueled monster
A guy in the dance floor is raising the roof with an axe in hand. I love Halloween.
Fate is real! that hot chick, Megan just showed up dressed as jasmine and I'm dressed as Aladdin this is going to be cake
i don't knpow whats goin on i think theyre sacrificeing me to th tequila gods
Why is my car covered in what appears to be salsa verde?
Please send pictures of any nice new years ladies you run across in town, as I've forgotten what women look like.
Sleeping with him wouldn't be considered hoeing out... It seems more like babysitting.
Literally just sitting around waiting for someone to come along and fuck my chakras back into alignment
Are we planning this because I am online looking for places with a Mechanical bull
Randomize
