You screamed 'pound me, you big thick stud.' I looked around for porn cameras.
Shut up. I did not.
I really wish I was making that up.
I sware she could use her own nose as a dildo.
she did the YMCA with her lgs... i think she forgot she wasnt wearing any underwear
I'm having a flashback of telling a guy that he was beautiful and graceful like a unicorn while playing shuffleboard.
He had to stop fucking her halfway through to do a shit. When he returned she was still waiting for him. The joys of MDMA
Why are there chunks of your hair in everyones pocket?
I decided to mark my territory.
I just heard myself say the sentence "I'm gonna go to the bank then take a nap". 8 year old me just slapped my present self through the space-time continuum for being an old fuck.
It's Saturday night and I'm getting shitfaced alone while reading Dino porn. Wassssuuuupppp
There's Dick Pix, Zorro, and The Little Engine that Could. I nickname my fuck buddies for the exact same reason why you don't name animals which you will one day have for dinner.
If I win the lottery I'm going to hire someone to skywrite "FUCKTARD" over his house. That much anger.
Do you ever get so high you're like vibrating
Mid-fucking he screams "YOU CAN'T VOTE FOR TRUMP"
The last thing I remember was them slipping shots into my beer bong, and me being happy about it
yes that’s a photo of a horny gay donkey
Oh I know. I’ve known many horny gay donkeys in my time.
I remember is someone saying "I smell weed" and then having a room full of sober high school kids look at me.
Randomize
