HE had a tribal tattoo tramp stamp, jasmine.
this is never going to happen for me, I think he thinks I'm crazy
well you did scream "PLEASE! I'LL S YOUR D IN FRONT OF EVERYONE"
i stalked him back to the creation of his facebook in november 2008. that bad.
He took the lighter and said "this is how I give myself a bikini wax."
I don't care what anyone says I want strippers at my funeral.
no. 1 rule of bromania: no females
I just ate a bag of doritos while taking a shower. I can now officially do anything
He tells me he loves me and I say I just want him for sex, then he looks at me like I just said I hate puppies. What kind of guy is he?
Just puke n rally. People can't judge, it's syllabus week.
Can I please come dance in my bra to destiny's child with you? I'll bring the wine and the glitter
Whenever I'm not in the mood and don't want to go to bed swampy, I just strategically suck him off during the second period intermission of the Cup playoffs and he leaves me alone and does the dishes. It's a win-win.
This Pinterest wedding planning is a good distraction. I'm great at this, my imaginary wedding is beautiful
Just cried watching Wimbledon, worst comedown ever.
Got a $290 noise violation last night for shouting "THE KING OF THE NORTH" til 2 am
i just called dibs on the taxi driver at the bar that isnt drinking. im a grown up
Randomize
