I hope you shit your pants in a socially devastating situation.
the fair has chocolate covered bacon...impossible is nothing.
i just looked up and i was like omg ballsack and then i didnt know what to do
It would be one hovered percent delicioui
how was ur day?
this is strictly sexting don't make small talk.
Crazy how fast a room full of drunk teenagers sober up when someone breaks his parents' new flat screen
Whatever, consider condoms an eighteen year investment.
I could probably save all of the money I would have spent on condoms and put a kid through college.
he gave me a thermos so I could take my coffee with my on drive of shame. I was unexpectedly grateful...
I met her daughter,who I went to high school with on my way out this morning. She didn't seem to surprised. I love older women.
His status said "sad." of course I liked it. I don't even care that I was the only one. Facebook isn't your god damn journal, we don't care about your problems.
he won't tell me his last name, but I know his garage key code
I took a dab in Denver and was I. Rocky Mountain national park almost to Wyoming before I realized I missed my turn.
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos
I always knew ther was a reason why we're best friends
Obvs our love of drugs
I like to think of it more as our love of curiosity
Had a girl with a moustache tattoo on her hand give me a handjob. That shit was classy as fuck. I felt like I should be wearing a monocle or something.
Randomize
