hey, what are you doing tonight?
sleeping, g'night!
but i wanted to see you :(
sleeping! g'night!(801): i miss you!
stop - you have a right hand - use it!
how did your night go?
he asked for my myspace name.
The bong broke. we're having a little funeral followed by an inaugeration service for the new one
I'm the only kid serving jury duty. And I'm the only one who may walk out of here in handcuffs for a warrant. I'm enabling these people to doubt America's youth once again.
just tried to puke while my RA was trying to puke in the stall next to me.bonded for life
I just peed in a flower pot on the veranda while crying and holding a drink
The fact that he just came out makes his Lent commitment to give up gay sex so much more meaningful now.
Who takes their shirt off at the bar?! Classy broad
I do. In all fairness there was someone else's blood on it.
Obviously he considers you not fucking him as fucking up. Thus making him fuck up. Based on this I believe he should be disqualified from the race to your vagina.
When you're really drunk, Japanese toilets just have an unnecessary amount of buttons.
So i stood up out of the sunroof while he gave me oral. Car was still moving. Exactly how illegal is that?
Fuck you and your widespread penis snapchat
Your "whiskey dick" is glorious but also terrifying
Because you put the dick in ridiculously amazing boyfriend. And you deserve to have nice things happen to your penis. That's why.
(919) the date's not going well. He's on his phone talking about his eBay amine shit...
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