How did you manage that?
Told her it wasn't GENITAL herpes... just ORAL herpes... on my penis
lol... jersey girls rock
just got my goo swallowed for the first time. colors seem so much more vivid now, and more rainbows are outside
You named all of the cocktail shrimps and then tackled a guy for "eating Henry"
we were spooning and you were the big spoon but you insisted that I call you "the ladle"
He shouted my World of Warcraft name while we were having sex, and he was sober.
She bet her virginity on the Celtics. Looks like Kobe wont be the only one breaking in a new ring.
Just because Aaron is a gender neutral name does not mean I am letting you name your baby after a drug dealer
Can you explain to me how i got kicked out of a bar last night, from outside the bar?
seeing two freshman taking a cab home at noon on a Monday makes me realize how much worse my life choices could have been
I'm offering you baseball tickets and my vagina, isn't that enough?
The reality is I'm 24 and I have terminal breast cancer. Fuck yeah I'm going have sex with every hot guy I can. What, am I gonna worry about getting an STD or pregnant at this point? If I'm gonna die, I want to have any many big dicks as I can while I'm still able.
I'm closer to stabbing a fork in my neck than finishing this resume.
Well I met my booty call's parents by accident, so that happened.
My liver is whispering mean things about me to my kidneys. It's a fucking miracle I'm not hungover. Lol
Which is worse that I came in public or that no one noticed?
Randomize
