Yo I'm just eating dinner now. U ready to go out?
Ya ya. Where you eating?
Cereal and beer. U kno u want in.
I'm going to use my one free fuck up card tonight.
What'd you do?
Its more like what im about to do.
You should have seen k-money last night. She was just hanging on to the toilet for half the night. By her fourth trip to puke, she started talking to it and was doing the voices for her and it. She kept saying "...we thank you for your continued business..." haha
i just saw a girl w/ a shirt that said "im the single friend." yeah i bet u r. stop wearing shirts like that and that could change.
Dude its so hot it my room I can't jack off. Its gonna be a long summer.
I feel like I just walked the hall of shame thru the marriott. Everyone stared.
I think it was the shoes and limping. Not the sex. I could b wrong.
composition of my stomach right now: 60% C8H10N4O2 * H2O (coffee), 20% CaCO3 (pepto bismol/tums), 10% HCl (stomach acid), 5% fried rice, 5% residual adderall. i can do that by percent mass too. fuck you finals.
thanks for being my moral compass. and thanks for not always pointing north so i can be slutty and not feel bad about it.
You tried to put a condom on my dog, then he ate it.
Oh, AND I met a ukulele teacher that I'd date. So there's that.
Was having the best sex dream I've had in a while and only woke up when I heard my grandma fall down the stairs.
apparently I kept repeating I have a to do list this summer and he's on it
My diet fell off the wagon when I began texting the pizza delivery guy my location on frat row.
I could have sworn that I went home last night... but judging from the couch I just woke up on, apparently not.
That was the first time ive ever slept with a girl with a q in her name
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