Short Circuit remake moving forward, David Carradine dead by his own hand. Come home soon, society deteriorating rapidly. Nation's capitol likely not safe.
Decided to write a book called "girls don't poop and other myths I wish I still believed in"
bang him and never speak to him again. also, queef in his face.
i dont this its possible to queef on command.
I just talked to a CEO of a fortune 500 company while pooping. I LOVE being self employed.
You were pretty fucked up... decided playing hopscotch down the stairs was an excellent idea.. it was extremely entertaining
My natural self cock block skills kicked in last night. I could've got on like 2 chicks but i ended up throwing up all over my van instead.
Max was wondering if he could trade you sex for the use of your jumper cables
Okay well someone asked "IS HE HOMELESS?" about me so I need to try and find somebody.
He said he was trying to live vicariously through me. I didn't have the heart to tell him that meant he was vicariously fucking his best friend.
It's like my butt was the only innocence I had left and now I don't even have that.
Way to high for badminton right now. This is gonna be a shitshow.
I offered to buy ihop waffles for all the homeless people outside the metro. It was time to go to bed.
like seriously. this whole place is the shit. like i can move clouds. no other way to explain it but i can fucking move clouds.
He was on top and as he finished he yelled "I love gold" , so yeah I'm seeing him later tonight
He yelled "HOO-ah!" like Al Pacino when he pulled down his pants. Trust me, he has every right to.
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