i called him pencil dick in front of over half of his fraternity brothers...
...never gotten so many high fives in my life! fuck ya i win!
I literally need to be slapped with another cock just to notice it.
I didn't know how to tell her I was too busy getting stoned and making a baked potato to meet up and finish our group project.
Am I allowed to say that I would really enjoy blowing you again? Or does that fall into the "nothing changes between us" catagory?
I'm not going to need your "it doesn't mean you're a slut" pep talk after all.
PS- I just stirred my mimosa with a slice of bacon
I STRONGLY considered not bringing that guy home with me last night simply because I'd JUST changed my sheets that morning.
What started as a "classy" double date ended with Jeremy and I tripping our balls off and talking to the refrigerator while the girls cried on the couch and questioned where their lives were heading.
He ripped off his shirt and tried to give me CPR. That damn bong.
So i just got guilted into doing a tequila shot by a group of guys chanting "USA!" at me.
I'd rather make snow angels in a pool of elephant shit.than sleep with him.
I'm never celebrating Galentine's Day again. It was a whorrific mess.
Omg I just woke up. In the hallway outside my room. I know you had something to do with this
Somebody broke the sliding door, and someone ripped the toilet seat off the toilet. So yeah, pretty typical friday night
When I told the bartender it was my 21st birthday, he looked at me all pissed and said "But you've been drinking here as 21 for the past 2 years.." How do you THINK the night went?
So I take it free shots were a no after that?
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