Pre-pickelized cucumber-hand invasion!! RUN!!!!!!!!!!
Is it awkward that I've slept with every guy in this room?
Only if they know about it too.
escape the fate? dumbest band name ever. how about escape the fart. now that is a show i would go see!
Can one do a walk of shame from one's own hotel? Considering I just barfed in a planter down town in from of a bunch of business men in suits on my way to a work breakfast on a Wednesday morning, I am gonna just go with yes.
we've been at disney 20 seconds and she already got the cops called over
Two man bar crawl was hectic. Just found leaves in my pocket.
He passed out so we kept throwing water on him, he got excited and asked if we were at the wave pool.
Lil wasted at a baby shower. Here's to beating teen pregnancy BOTTOMS UP
Dude it started out with let's find some food and ended up with me getting a needle in the face
OH YEAH AND FORGOT TO THANK YOU FOR THE lack of WARNING THAT HE WASN'T CIRCUMSIZED.
Fell twice in five points. on my face. literally during a cross walk. The cars just went around me. 21st birthday memories right there
Planning a foam party. Swimsuits are mandatory, and please no granny suits. If you wear a granny suit I will stick you in the corner and put a cone hat on your head.
I basically have sex lined up for me in three different countries. If that's not a feat I don't know what is
He's got a beautiful penis, I can't lie
Wait, how many people just saw my dick?
Randomize
