he looked upset that i wasn't completely shaven. i reminded him he had begged. and beggars can't be choosers.
Can I get a DUI with a shopping cart? I've nearly hit 2 displays and little girl...
his extensive knowledge of the age of consent laws kinda scares me....
It's the only time I've ever felt manly shitting myself
well they never fully had sex so she's like an eskimo step-sister. I'll make a family tree for you.
I was riding him and in the middle he literally said "fuck yeah, Amy Winehouse"
Just caught myself checking an online porn site while in a strip club. Might have a problem.
I would go a lot of places to get laid. But I would NOT go to Staten Island.
I tried to have sex on someone's sisters horse last night
My previously white toilet seat is now hot pink. I'm not sure why or how but I know it's your fault.
That was when I yelled "Wisconsin powers activate!" and took off sprinting across the ice
All I wanted was a couple of orgasms before work, is that too much to ask?!
Well, the night started out with you ALMOST falling out of a tree. Then we went back to the tree after about 9 shots and you DID fall out of the tree.
I will be wearing a suit out more cuz it has been decided i rage harder with a power tie
Getting blackout drunk infront of my family was never on my bucket list, but now that I've done it I'm cool with it.
Randomize
