***** fucked a guy with one hand last night
what if cement was really a rainbow color they just secretly paint it grey so as not to distract drivers
are you high?
I miss Michael Jackson so much sometimes
Doubtful. That seems irresponsible. The 4th will kill you if you stopped drinking until then. Let's think logically.
Close. The correct answer is shitting in a public toilet. We also would have accepted the pit of despair.
Watching frozen planet. There's a beach master sea lion with about 50 sea lion bitches fighting another sea lion for said bitches. It's a bloody battle. Dude. You have over 50. Share.
I've come to the conclusion that Jesus and 2013 are haters.
No we don't really celebrate valentines day, we just use it as an excuse to drink 3 bottles of red wine and fuck for a few hours.
Is there a lightning bolt coming out of your boner right now?!
you're welcome to come here, except my beds from ikea so it's more unstable than i am
Not this time. I'm drinking in my sweatpants which means I've given up for the day and shouldn't be in public.
i'm at work, alone, drinking a spiced chai & fireball hot toddy. holiday OT isn't that bad after all.
If you think that liquor is the way to shower sex then you're right.
he'll eat me out, but god forbid we double dip when sharing salsa
This is the Front Desk Lady from the Saturolite Inn. Your friend is passed out in the lobby. Please come help her.
Randomize