mark tries to be a total badass to make up for the fact that he's a poor man's pete wentz
I'm driving to work with an ice pack on my vagina. how was your weekend?
You don't forget tits like those, even if you are vegas drunk.
I'm not sure...it could be the pasta I ate from her sink, the dominoes, or just the alcohol. Or a wicked combination of all 3.
you have no idea the dirty thing i want to do to your blad spot. please wear my vagina as a hat.
I don't know which part of you thought this was funny but it's fucked up to wake up in that much fluff and now we don't have a couch. Fuck you.
I refuse to fuck a guy who needs a coozy for his beer. NOT EVEN IN DESPERATE TIMES LIKE THESE.
Just got outta the drunk tank! Happy 21st birthday!
cant tell, his cock is acting like one of those inflatable arm waving things outside the market
Lets now bow our heads and think of girls with ex boyfriends who were great at fingering them. That's so sad.
I threw up in the darkest corner of the bar last night, then watched 2 girls freak out in disgust after walking through it. I then realised I puked on the dancefloor, took a picture and proceeded to send it to my mom.
You can trust me. I'm unemployed and not wearing pants.
Please come to class. I miss you and I have a horse mask
I love you but this is the first Saturday I have ever spent at the police station. And where are my boxers?
Just make sure you put pants on
....then im not going
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