Did you fuck her?
If by "fuck her" you mean "threw up on her shoes," then yes, I achieved that.
i just overheard my mom tell my dad he should drink less so he could hit the right hole
She calls me Shortcake and bites my ear. Trust me, I'm FINE with bein the secret lesbian lover.
I have discovered that there is nothing that a giant penis attached to a southern accent can't talk me into. yee-haw!
I can feel his 12 year old sister"s eyes barreling into my soul everytime I'm at there house..some how she knows I'm cheating on her brother or she's mad cause I stole her shirt.
And if I hated you I'd probably say things like, "I never want to speak to you again," or, "Eat a bag of dicks." That's how you'd know.
From time to time I think I'm happy for a second and then I remember how a guy stopped me from giving him head on my birthday weekend.
Can't keep a straight face around her after she asked me to "make fuck to her."
Dying on my bathroom floor at 7 am, I would rather be eaten by a shark right now
All three of my roommates have their significant others over. We're all hanging out in the living room. It's like I'm the trifecta of third-wheeling
just so you know.. snorkeling hungover: great decision. I was throwing up and he couldn't even tell!
Thanks for bringing that stuff to help me feel better...you know, the water, the Gatorade, and the dick. You really are the best friend ever.
Like I thought me shitting my pants was bad today... Then the election happened.
Look idk the rules and regulations of our freindship...but I need you to carry me to my car.
His dick smelled like strawberries...it was awesome.
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