By the way the fattest man alive got married yesterday and I don't even have a boyfriend.
The smartest thing I've heard Obama do is call Kayne West a jackass
When he came he kept saying "oh god oh god" and he sounded just like his dad. awkward...
after he gave me a diploma for giving him amazing head, getting a regular diploma isnt all that cool.
I remember seeing LSAT prep books and thinking "Whose room is this? I should be hooking up with them instead."
I was just informed that you are the reason for my 2 missing front teeth.
I got my project done and a booty call in all before 1am. I'm a professional college kid.
i still can't believe we survived that barcrawl. the third bar had bullet holes and we still went in.
These days, you and me are swimming in dicks.
Marco
Polo
He's on the bus now and took off his Amish hat so just his long ginger beard is present. Goodbye, majestic Amish ginger. Go forth and represent your minority well.
Drunkenly tried to auction off Merik's pancakes at Ihop. Apparently I make a great auctioneer. Also, no one wants 30 cent pancakes.
I don't want any of this. I just want big sausages.
Someone just asked me why I drink so much. Im gonna slap a bitch
You tried to stop drinking but then she started feeding you tequila with a spoon. You were like an adorable baby bird.
I made an executive decision to rename my Resume file to something other than MONEYMONEYMONEY.
Randomize
