I'll collect that couch/porn sloopy beedge tomorrow just FYI
I hate ducks.
What?
they're sketch. like squirrels. squirrels are sketch as fuck.
yes we were fucking thats why i put "watching a movie" in quotations
this episode of spongebob makes me wish crabby patties were real
You talked to that cop for like 15 minutes and when you got back, you told us you were "networking".
Had a speaker in class today. She asked whats the first question when you see someone pregnant. I said whos the father? She was looking for "is it a boy or a girl?"
yeah, we figured out that passing a joint between cars was a pretty bad idea
I've spent more money on drugs for bonnaroo than my actual ticket. Proudly.
all i wanna do is drink skittled vodka, fuck my gf, and pass out in my neighbors hot tub naked
Normal vaginal pH: 3.8 to 4.5. Of course it tastes like a 9-volt. I could run a potato clock on that thing.
Bro. Some kids just drive-by judged the shit outta me.
She acts like a 3 year old but with fantastic tits. This girl is the reason women are objectified
He sent me a poorly photoshopped picture of his shaved dick wearing a Hot Dog on A Stick titled "Shorndog"...
I just peed on a rich man's lawn fuck yeah America
We smell like vodka and hangover
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