I sat on his lap and we shared a beer. I feel like that's an invitation to his dick.
I call it my summer of slut; except summer lasts from May until December. It's been incredibly successful
Go ahead. I tried to back up ur budhism story but she mite be catching on
Dammit. I hoped that would work. Just tell her I'm doing my pilgrmidge to Nepal or something.
honestly, i just want you to have sex with him too so that you can fully understand my appreciation of his dick as well.
your ex girlfriend just barged in my house, drunk, mumbled something about "car strip", and put a huge hole in my drywall with her head.
The first aid guy just told us to go get hammered...I'm taking his advice
All I want is for every tall lanky young guy who is reading in a Starbucks to go balls deep in me. That's all.
You're asking your pregnant booty call to go to a funeral with you?
I think i was just meant to be a stripper. A ballerina stripper cat
There was a comma in between her and dick. I was calling you a dick. Jesus.
I just want some dick and chicken fingers please advise
Her tramp stamp said call me maybe. You should have run for the nearest decontamination shower immediately.
Last night I had a sex dream about Trudeau, he hasn't even been prime minister for 24 hours
cmon you know I'm perfectly capable of something that ridiculous 100% sober
Pretty sure the delivery guy saw me taking a shit this morning
Randomize
