i hope your v-card owns a pair of floaties
OK...I gotta go get strawberry short cake cakes and knee pads
I was surprised he admitted he couldnt keep up. We both knew but usually they dont come out and say it
Remeber when I drunkenly made out with him this summer while he was getting bitched at by his girlfriend on the phone? Yeah, neither do I. But I'm pretty sure that same thing happened again last night.
Confirmed. Vegetarians give terrible head.
Yeah...I know. It's cute I think...I mean cute in a weird like hey I kinda took you home from the bar one night, maybe criticized your penis, and fucked your brains out...kinda sorta way
Come on Nikki god gave you a vagina for a reason, so you could tell guys what kind of shots to buy you
He's basically wearing those Nike boner sweatpants. It's hard not to jump him. How has your day been?
theres chocolate ground into my couch, nerds candy all over the floor and cocaine on every surface. great memorial day weekend and yours?
It's always awkward in the office the day after your boss sends you a dick pic.
It's a little weird that I'm blowing my wingman.
The pee I just pissed was about 7% better than the one at your house. But both are pretty far up there.
Literally breaking up to my boyfriend while jamming out to Feraglicious
Fantasizing about the apocalypse is fun and shit until the conditions that could lead to one suddenly seem feasible
His birthday is on cinco de mayo and he doesn’t drink or like tacos. What a waste.
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