well, tey weren't taking lap dances as payment today
i just had sex with a fat kid who giggles when he cums. tequila really lowers my standards.
this girl ate taco bell on my bed naked last night, it was the sexiest thing ive ever seen
I'm glad my gym is open 24 hours..I stopped in on my way home to puke from the bar
after we finished, she said she had been a backup performer for Cirque du Soleil. THAT flexible.
As we were fooling around he told me he was conceived on this bed like it would turn me on.
My absolute favorite part of last night was after I puked in the ally, we rounded the corner and you screamed, "she's ok!" and everyone cheered
just mapquested my walk of shame from saturday..bye bye freshman 15
There is a car windscreen wiper in my handbag... Not my car's, not ok.
I may be asexual, but I owe you a solid from yesterday. I am a man of my word.
I could tell my life story through kermit memes
Pretty sure I'm partying in a onesie right now.
I woke up thinking it was Friday. I was disappointed (to say the least). I am pretty sure I have gained the quarantine fifteen (but I won’t know until I try to put something other than elastic-waisted shorts on). And I am probably going to need dentures because I am grinding my teeth so much. But hey--this is temporary, right?
My boobs are too perky to pay that much for a car
Shame is for Republicans.
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