I can't lisssten to Lou Holtzsss ssspeak anymore
I'm going to take the bottles back.. And maybe get an x-ray
No flights in Europe due to the volcano erupting. God himself is telling me to spend 4.20 in Amsterdam.
You were chewing up hot dogs and spitting them out
We're trying to leave but amy's hitting on the guy who mans the nacho cart
That was the first time I have seen a confused expression with a dick in the mouth
why is my underwear the only thing i was wearing that smells like vodka?
You are right. The scrape marks on her ass are from her breaking the doggy door by crawling through it.
I just accidentally hit share on pornhub... Probably the scariest moment of my life
How did "late lunch" turn into 8 solid hours of drinking??? I feel like death.
A few days ago I apparently came up, asked her to make me soup, and handed her a can of coconut milk.
Apparently I had 2 bloody noses and after my sis put me to bed at the hotel, I escaped and my sister's friend found me in an elevator with some guy
You can get gift cards to the liquor store! This changes everything.
On another note, I think my upstair neighbor is having sex. How awkward would it be if I showed up to her door with a bag of Chipotle?
Cops swarmed my car last night in the walmart parking lot cause of the paper plate
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