he just wrote my ten page research paper for tit pics. i love my boobs.
Just saw the new iPhone. I would totally let Steve Jobs and Jon Ive eiffel tower me right now.
Yep. Just threw myself a bachelorette party with my coworkers penis before I re-enter the holy order of monogomous relationships.
ill be fine wheb you get back. I'm gunna do real world things like washing the dishes. having to perform serious tasks brings you down.
I should start printing out disclaimer handouts and passing them out to people saying, "I can not be held responsible for anything I say or do this evening."
Sidenote: do you recall your "give me the d" chant
On a better note: I'm on pace for 730 female produced orgasms in 2013.
Let's play the game let's see how long Kayla can be sober
I'm shaving my vagina to the lion king soundtrack. How's your 9am?
Do you remember whose house we're in?
Do you feel better now that you've sent me a picture of your dick?
Yep.
You were trying to be sexy by spraying your contact solution on your chest and telling me to lick it off
Seriously. There were about 4 hours in which I swear my nose was not attached to my face.
I woke up with a giant paw print on the side of my face, my jaw hurts, and I have no idea how any of this happened.
you were shouting "me peeing on him is the closest he'll EVER get to my vagina!"
Randomize
