So I'm eating my burger minding my own business, when the guy next to me starts up a conversation. Seemed normal at first, stocks, bonds, etc...then he said...and I quote "I can push a bowling-ball up a flight of stairs with my tongue." As I awkwardly laughed he broke out "I bet you I could bite the head off of a rabbit."
I called her new haircut "lesbian progressive" and now she's upset
well.. I tried flushing my sandals down the toilet
i know i said i'd always be there for you, but i'm beginning to think that what you call "being there for me" the american judicial system calls reckless endangerment.
Power went out. She lit a candle and gave me head. Made some pretty impressive candlelight cocksucking shadowpuppets. Must be what porn was like in olden times.
I woke up with hair in my teeth and half his beard was missing.
I slept with someone shorter than me. My vagina weeps.
You fool.
Yes ma'am. At least you're a warning story I can tell to my kids in the future
But college guys get to crossfade so there's that
No idea what that is
Like getting bent? When you drink and smoke together...
I'm 30 stop using your cool kids words
Preparing for the bar exam has made my whatever disorder you said I have act up again
Pretty sure that propositioning you to fly across the country for sex fest '13 isn't something my husband would approve of.
Hahahaha .. If it makes you feel better I had a sex dream about a cheeseburger last night so I feel like we both lose.
I still think it's strange your mom saw me 93% naked with a Santa hat on and a raging boner. Tis the season right?
Let's be honest, I've seen a decent amount of dicks in my life and very few of them have been worth all the trouble.
Dude no i feel my liver disintegrating
Randomize
