If it was for sex do you really think i would asking for a mass vote? I'm like fidel castro when it comes to sex. No public approval needed.
One person in the car. Three blizzards. Alot of judging.
I'm going to fuck my way out of the friend zone if its the last thing I do
why is there cat hair all over my deoderant?
she wanted to smell more freshershest than you.
If you hear screaming in the middle of the night, bat got loose. Call poison control immediately and explain rabies
So he texted me two hours ago to tell me he just took two hits of acid. Now he's asking me if it's possible for a house to breathe.
In preparation for st patty's day I finally had a shamrock shake, and I invested in an app that will apparently keep me from drunkenly texting you pictures of my tits this weekend. Please let me know if you want to not be put on the "forbidden" list!
Is it too much to ask that I wake up one morning with out a pic of your dick as my wallpaper??
I noticed a trail of vomit coming up the drive way. You must be home
This heat and humidity do not mix with these braless DDs and a tank top at a BBQ.
I'm sitting in Madison square park surrounded by children thanking god I took emergency contraception
So I stole cocaine from one of my Tinder hookups
And that is the most millennial sentence I've ever said
I'm sorry for chipping my tooth on your vagina last night :(
Remember how slutty I thought she was when we were freshmen?
Yeah! But that was a long time ago. Plus, you use your sluttiness for good!
I have all the porn. Be there soon
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