We had sex in his tahoe, talked about how we don't love each other and then high fived twice. Best Day Ever
The bartender laughed but the manager kicked me out when the mom conplained. There's no way my fart harmed that baby in any way
Oh my god it's like Minesweeper. I can tell there's sex in three of the four rooms, but which one is the safe one?
we knew you were done when they played It's All Coming Back To Me Now by Celine Dion and you started crying
She told me she eats fruit when she's hungover because it has more water than water.
we started the countdown to drunken sledding this weekend.
5am update: in a toga seeing triple made out with both sexes
She just asked me if I was looser "in the vagina" than her. While gyrating.
It happened again.
What?
I lost in a drinking contest with my 84 year old grandmother. Two years in a row now.
I'm drunk in a place called Lick-A-Chick. PS. It's not a lesbian hot spot, they sell chicken.
The crooked penis I maybe could have looked past...but no foreplay? Deal breaker.
Is it just me, or do you see your penis in that hand?
he woke up this morning, drunk as fuck, butt ass naked, and he had left grandmas gun on the counter and doesn't know why.
Woke up on a lawn chair hugging a bottle of vodka. Hows your morning so far?
A girl I had a drunken hook up with is on interventon right now
Randomize
