Gay walks of shame are so much more Amy Winehouse than straight girls
I know it may not be fiscally responsible to pregame fifty cent night, but I'm gonna go ahead and do it anyway.
we gave some random guy a shot for shoveling our sidewalk.
i'm ready for this baby to gtfo so i can get coked out.
The freshman sure do fuck up the whataburger line at 2am
he sent me a picture of his dick with a heart border around it
I can only take thier stupid "I think beauty school is for me" routine so long until I have to bitch slap them with some knowledge
A BJ like that needs to be recommended.
I woke up to him "wax on, wax off"-ing my boobs. I just reminded myself that I love him and let it happen.
Maybe you can just make seal noises during sex and we can call it good
She invited us over for cocaine and donuts
Oh I'm sorry does your girlfriend send you better pictures of things in her ass? No? Didn't think so. Remember that the next time you wanna complain how I don't make the first move enough.
Turns out he's just a recently divorced IT guy. Not a wizard.
I'm going to talk him into letting me tie him up, and then just leave him that way and go meet you for fro-yo.
that's the second time my extensive knowledge of taylor swift has gotten me laid
Randomize
