If the pens lose tonight I'm gonna drive to Detroit and burn 8 mile to the ground.
Actually I may do that regardless. Probably get my own holiday.
his penis looked like arnold from hey arnold. it was interesting.
im starting to measure my showers by the number of beers i drink while im in there.
I kept waking up & seeing my Goodfellas poster and thinking it was a window with people crammed against it staring at me.
I guess the lighting in my room made it look like they were moving. I remember telling myself that they were watching over me and protecting me from the cops
Yeudjkisdjxbfceryuj. i love having a qwerty keyboard just so i can do that.
Pretty sure I just has te same conversation as you. He suggested I get, sell, and fuck the hoes, and once all was said and done, that I should refer afforementioned hoes to him, to perform felatio.
The more I throw up, the more I am remembering exactly what I drank last night...in order.
Mass texted booty calls to all the guys I've hooked up with this year to commemorate the end of the semester.
in my defense i said 'lock up your wives' before going out.
dude i should have never cleaned my ears out while high. theres no going back.
She's planning a December wedding, I'm planning on a June breakup.
earned some solid air miles from the plan B I just bought. #silverlinings
I need to calm my uterus...
Im watching animal planet drunk, watching a documentary on mermaids. Tonight has not gone to waste.
Once you find out someone has a small dick, you never look at them the same again.
Randomize
